The Curious Need of Want

At speeds only witnessed since Maradona stripped the entire English defence of their dignity at the '86 World Cup, a nation of sports hacks will today be quick to install Harry "Safe" Redknapp as the new manager of the English team. Redknapp experienced what must have been a spectacularly safe bet on his fortunes yesterday when six hours previously to Capello's resignation a judge decided upon a speculative tax case in his favour. 

Redknapp is of course the forerunner for the position now. In terms of one crucial acid test in being England manager is how he seems to be a totem for the perceived "white man van" that The Sun, a paper which he writes for, likes to pretend to promote. A swift comparison in this mould of England manager would be another high court ally: Terry Venables. This type of "geezer" mentality sells papers and wraps the St George in the flag of lager drinkers from the south of Wembley's gory arch. 

It appears that the job of England manager is toxic in many, curious ways. But has it ever struck the normal football supporter that the job is Southern England and beyond-centric? This list of recent managers is telling - since 1966 it has read: 

• Alf Ramsey (manager 1963-1974) - born in Dagenham
• Terry Venables (manager 1994-1996) - born in Dagenham
• Glen Hoddle (manager 1996-1999) - born in Hayes
• Sven Göran Erikkson (manager 2000-2006) - born in Sweden
• Fabio Capello (manager 2007-2012) - born in Italy

The managers who filled the positions in-between the ones in the list were deemed complete failures and were to large degrees put out in the tabloid stocks for public ridicule. Curiously it was these ones who were from and  plied their trade in the north of England. Revie was "an overblown flop"; Robson should never have been allowed to take the national squad to Italia '90; Taylor was the infamous allotment vegetable; Keegan was too media-wet (quite literally on the day he resigned at the old Wembley); and McClaren was "the wally with the brolly".

With consistent failure darkening the national team's doorstep in every effort to win a tournament since 1966 it does seem to be "the impossible job". A lot rides on timing and the mood of a "nation" when the FA come around to doing the appointing. But like everything else in England since the systematic destruction of the working class industries (prevalently in the north) the entire set-up has become a brand. This I think has alienated a core support from the cities and towns in the north of England throughout these barren years: support for the local team seems more crucial. 

Which leaves the options open only to a good old Cockney geezer. A safe pair of hands. Cor blimey, guv'nor: we've only gone an' lost to Kyrgyzstan. Don't love a duck: LOVE ME! But more importantly he is manager of a rich London club; he is from London; he wears nice suits and he avoids going to prison when the evidence is against him. 'Triffic.

In the detritus of today's headlines it is no surprise that the reason for Capello's exit was over a Southern, expensively paid and spoilt footballer. Who, pending a court hearing, so happens to be a proto-racist. It will be no greater of a surprise that the headlines through the tenure of the next manager will turn ugly depending on well Harry writes his.